Diary of a Dog and a Cat

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Sqeeks
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Diary of a Dog and a Cat

Post by Sqeeks » Sun Oct 18, 2009 9:03 pm

Excerpt from a Dog's Diary...

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
__________________________________________
Excerpt from a Cat's Diary...

Day 983 of my captivity....

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously mentally handicapped.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now . . ..
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There is no emotion; there is peace.
There is no ignorance; there is knowledge.
There is no passion; there is serenity.
There is no death; there is the Force.

Bridelm
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Re: Diary of a Dog and a Cat

Post by Bridelm » Mon Oct 19, 2009 6:36 am

good stuff Sqeeks :lol:
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Bahnek
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Location: Red Deer, Alberta

Re: Diary of a Dog and a Cat

Post by Bahnek » Mon Oct 19, 2009 6:41 am

That is hilarious! :lol:
Thanks for the chuckles on a blah Monday morning at work Sqeeks!
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Gorwyn
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Location: Chapel Hill, NC

Re: Diary of a Dog and a Cat

Post by Gorwyn » Mon Oct 19, 2009 11:58 am

Nice Sqeeks! I needed that. :-)
- Bad decisions make for good stories!

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Aona
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Re: Diary of a Dog and a Cat

Post by Aona » Mon Oct 19, 2009 4:53 pm

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Aona - Marksman Hunter
Axeal - Purdy DK tnak
Kymia - Protection Warrior and foot rest for the tall ones

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Sqeeks
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Re: Diary of a Dog and a Cat

Post by Sqeeks » Mon Oct 19, 2009 6:46 pm

Hehe, Aona.
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There is no emotion; there is peace.
There is no ignorance; there is knowledge.
There is no passion; there is serenity.
There is no death; there is the Force.

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Willow
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Location: Houghton, MI

Re: Diary of a Dog and a Cat

Post by Willow » Tue Oct 20, 2009 9:39 am

LOL Aona, hilarious pic.

Sqeeks, that's our dog and cats to a T. The mice (and chipmunks, and birds). The vomit :P Our two newest cats like to run up and down the stairs with me, I know they're out to get me :shock: "He is obviously mentally handicapped." That's our dog!

Thanks for the laughs guys!
Willow

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." - Emerson

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Moonelle
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Re: Diary of a Dog and a Cat

Post by Moonelle » Tue Oct 20, 2009 7:20 pm

I was already LAWLING by "day 983 of my captivity".
"Voyager upon life's sea, To yourself be true,
And whatever your lot may be, Paddle your own canoe."


Moonblaze, Hunter
Moonelle, Balance/Resto Druid

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Miaraist
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Re: Diary of a Dog and a Cat

Post by Miaraist » Wed Oct 21, 2009 1:55 am

Thats fantastic!!! Thanks Sqeeks!!!

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